Welcome to the April 2023 Newsletter

Quite a month, all round.  

I got the gift of a piece of work that leached all the joy out of me.  It also nudged me a little too close to burn-out, it has to be said.  I hope not too close that it's done me damage.  But too close for my liking, given my 2 years with Chronic Fatigue about 12 or so years ago. But a gift because it was clear it was only here to show me exactly what I need to be saying no to, a lot more often. Very helpful.  

And what was vital in helping me work this out was a 2 hour supervision session, plus a weekend away with a wonderful friend, both of which gave me the space to hear myself think out loud.  Thank you Emma, thank you Simon and thank you Sue.  

And it was also a month where I saw a wonderful exhibition of folk traditions in Compton Verney; pulled two sticky, gooeey lambs from their mother in my first ever lambing; had six wonderful days away walking in the Brecon Beacons with Dom (forgetting that 6 miles there bears no relation to 6 miles on the South Downs!) and spent 2 days online learning more about Systemic Constellations with Jan Jacob Stam.  Acts of Love for Tough Times was a wonderful session to run - new date below - although tech problems meant some weren't able to join (so sorry - and new date below!)

I'm watching my tulips, day by day, as they're about to emerge.  Any day now.  And by the time I'm here with you again, they'll have been and gone. Time just moving us all on.

I'll see you in May and until then, a reminder from John O'Donoghue that we 'are here to search for the light in our hearts, and when we find it we are meant to give it away generously'.  I'll do my best!

Helena x

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You know, right, that I am one of the people who believe we're heading not just towards climate collapse, but societal collapse. 

It's not a popular thing to talk about. Not that many people want to think of that happening. Let alone talk about it.  But as someone said the other day: everything comes to an end.  Everything.  And so it would be very strange indeed if this civilisation didn't end too. 

I'm in good company.  Jem Bendell, Margaret Wheatley, Joanna Macy, Dougald Hine.  I'm with them. And also Mark Shaw.  Whose documentary Living in the Time of Dying is worth looking at.  

We can't do anything about this.  But we can choose how we want to live within it. 

David Shaked sent me a link to the latest episode of his Powerful Questions podcast.  He was exploring 'what do you love?' as his theme and it's a wonderful episode. 

But more than that, it turns out the previous 18 episodes also focus on a single question and so you might also fancy diving a bit deeper into 'what is the smallest step?', 'what else?' and 'what do you want?'.  I've just finished listening to 'what's available to you?' and have come away with an expanded sense of choice, possibility, abundance and gratitude.  And some fresh ideas for dinner as well as a new activity for working with clients.  Thank you, David. 

If you ever find yourself within a decent travelling distance from mid-Wales, do check out the wonderful walks from Quiet Walks.   Lisa Denison leads walks that are generally off the beaten track, and for small groups, including some walk/swim combos as as well as full-moon walks.

And she's wonderful company, which is also a treat.  I met Lisa years and years ago, when I was doing some work in her old organisation.  And the joys of social media - we got reconnected about a year ago and met up for a lovely long walk when I was down her way on holiday earlier this month.  

These days, I increasingly get out of sorts if I can't move my body every day.  If I can't get a couple of swims, 2-3 yoga classes and a daily hour of walking in each week.   If my week is too busy to fit those in without strain, then it's not the sort of week I want.  

Each one gives me things I need.  But it's the walking that's at the core of it all. As well as long walks on the Downs, I have a regular circuit 'through the town and back through the park' that's my default. Takes me about 40 minutes. I do it in all weathers, in light and dark. And in those 40 minutes I might draft a punchy email, remember I need to send a card to a friend, scope out the design of a new workshop, allow myself to feel awkwardness and embarrassment about a way I spoke to someone the day before, recall a poem that had made me laugh the previous week ... 

There's not much that a walk can't sort out for me.  And so it was good to see this article pop back into my FB feed this week to remind me that 'walking organizes the world around us'.  Feels true for me anyway. 

• Systems are not self resolving.  Someone has to do something that has not been done before
• Knowledge is an expression of life energy and wants to be passed on
• Systems seek wholeness and so someone will be sucked into a role/function in order to make the system whole
• New things often need to start with us finding our strong No
• All patterns of behaviour, no matter the impact, are there to provide stability and continuity and are working hard to protect some thing that's valuable.

HOW TO TRIUMPH LIKE A GIRL

I like the lady horses best
how they make it all look easy,
like running 40 miles per hour
is as fun as taking a nap, or grass.
I like their lady horse swagger,
after winning. Ears up, girls, ears up!
But mainly, let’s be honest, I like
that they’re ladies. As if this big
dangerous animal is also a part of me,
that somewhere inside the delicate
skin of my body, there pumps
an 8-pound female horse heart,
giant with power, heavy with blood.
Don’t you want to believe it?
Don’t you want to lift my shirt and see
the huge beating genius machine
that thinks, no, it knows,
it’s going to come in first.

Ada Limon

• Half a day exploring love in leadership for senior women in the health care system.  The programme sets out to bring a critical, feminist look at leadership and so this was a great opportunity to explore not only how love is such a problematic thing to introduce into the workplace, but also how care, compassion and love is so gendered at work.
• A lot of diagnostic/discovery interviews with two clients as part of building new leadership programmes.  I always love these conversations and how much you can learn about what goes on under the bonnet from just a few different perspectives. 
• A piece of Constellations work with a client, working first with a coaching approach, using floor markers and objects to help her see the map of the territory she wanted to explore, and what she needed to resource herself well to to do that work.