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Leadership Developer •
Coach & Facilitator • Writer
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Welcome to the May 2026 Newsletter
All through April, an icy wind caught me out
time and time again, seduced as I was by the
sunny weather. There's a metaphor for life in there
somewhere, I imagine. And so I continue to keep a metaphorical
hat-and-scarf close to hand, to resource me and keep me warm
(and sane) in these global icy winds.
This month it included my first watercolour lesson, and
continuing to play with zentangle, colour and collage.
Plus getting to the beach for the first chilly sea swims of
the year, and heading up onto the Downs whenever I could.
Lots of food, plenty of sleep, regular movement. My go-to things
to nourish me.
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Also deeply
nourishing was running The Love Lab. Of course it was -
it just can't be anything but. Yes, the structure of
it works well. But it's really about the magic that happens
when 20 people turn up ready and open to explore love
together. Deep and important. I ran two this year
but will likely wait for 12 months to run another. There was
also a dawn chorus trip to RSPB Pulborough where the 0430 start
was more than ok to hear so many nightingales and see a Sea Eagle.
Plus trips to York and Wales to see dear friends.
This month, there are glances at:
- another look
at forgiveness
- wondering what I
(we) stand for, and how might that be called on in our
coaching work
- some things I'd
have loved to include in my leadership development work
- a reminder to go
gently
I'll see
you in June. That Newsletter will arrive when I'm away
on Gower, all being well, a haven for me. Wishing you your
equivalent haven in this shaken snow globe of a world.
With love
Helena x
(pic: Katie O'Shea)
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'It can be
unfathomably weird and hard these days'.
Anne
Lamott
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Listening to this
really wonderful podcast episode
about forgiveness made me cry on a train. Powerful in lots
of ways, and the distinction about forgiveness being decisional
before it becomes emotional
was really resonant with some of the things I explore with love -
that, as Erich Fromm says, it's 'an intentional choice we make
over and over again'.
And it reminded me of the podcast conversation I had
with Stephen Tolfree about
forgiveness. Episode 28 here. This
is also a great listen with its emphasis on how forgiveness
is about releasing us from the burden of
resentment we're carrying. It's an act of love for
ourselves, more than something for the other person - to 'drop
the load' as the person featured in the first podcast says.
(pic: John Powell)
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There
might still be the opportunity ...
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I'm proud of much
of the creativity I've managed to bring into the leadership
development programmes I've helped create. But there are
several things I'd have loved to had the chance to integrate and
introduce to organisations.
One is doing something based on The Empathy Museum. I
first heard Clare Patey speak at Meaning
Conference (ooh, I miss that event - it was such a
special day every year ...) and in particular A Mile In My Shoes.
A Mile in My Shoes is a shoe shop where
visitors are invited to walk a mile in someone else’s shoes –
literally. Housed in a giant shoebox, this roaming exhibit holds
a diverse collection of shoes and audio stories that explore our
shared humanity. From a Syrian refugee to a sex worker, a war
veteran to a neurosurgeon, visitors are invited to walk a mile in
the shoes of a stranger while listening to their story. The
stories cover different aspects of life, from loss and grief to
hope and love and take the visitor on an empathetic as well as a
physical journey.
How wonderful would it be to bring this into
an organisation and use this as a way to deepen understanding and
compassion for people they work alongside.
Another is to pair up people from very different backgrounds and
experiences, doing very different roles in different contexts and
allow them to look at the world through their
particular perspectives. To be fair, I do bring some of that
into my programmes. But listening to Crawley Stories,
a series of conversations between young people in
Crawley and artists was a lovely reminder of what can happen
when we do this on a very intentional scale. Emma Rees who commissioned
the work at Theatre Centre says the
artists went on to produce pieces of art, and the art then
became the basis of a community exhibition. So many
ripples. So much potential for inside organisations and wider
communities.
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A Substack for
you, if you fancy one.
When things mostly feel ungentle (or even anti-gentle) how can we
go gently as a way of being, as a way to be kind and
compassionate with ourselves, as a move towards love.
Take a read of Going Gently as a way in to Satya Robyn's writing.
I think you might like it. She doesn't shy away from the
tough(est) stuff, by the way. A year or so ago, she
sat for an hour every day on some steps in Malvern for a year (A
YEAR!) in a silent protest against what we're doing and
letting happen to the climate.
(pic: Jim Musil)
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'If you
increase connectivity, you decrease hostility'.
Mohammed
Amin
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We've
been reading recently about how the LinkedIn algorithm
silences women. And we likely all feel the powerful forces
that keep each of us silent in different ways - on things we
might want to, or feel we should speak out about. I know I
don't speak up when I sometimes definitely should.
So I'm sharing this piece of writing, from Auriel Majumdar, because
it's one I keep thinking about and it won't let me
go. Auriel asks us directly what we would do when
our own personal values meet values we simply can't accept as
acceptable. In the case of this article, the focus is on
the rise of the far right in the UK - and what that might
mean for our stances as coaches. But it raises the wider
question of how we choose to live - and how we might act in
our lives as if history, power and politics really do matter.
I know
I'll sometimes still stay silent when I should speak
out. But I also know this article increases the chances of
me finding some courage to put my money where my mouth is.
(pic: Annie Galvin)
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'Every minute
of every hour of every day you are making the world, just as
you are making yourself - and you might as well do
it with generosity, and kindness and style'.
Rebecca
Solnit
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ENDINGS & BEGINNINGS 18 Sept, in London
How much intentional work do you put into making
sure that things end well? To really support a good ending? I've
been training for the last 2 years in end-of-life care and it's
really made me focus on endings in my organisational
practice (and beyond)
So in this Endings & Beginning workshop,
we look at how we can make endings good ones by drawing
on what palliative
care and the role of an end of life doula
can teach us, how we might work with ritual to
create movement and release stuckness, and remind
ourselves that most of the lessons we need to learn to do
endings well in organisations come from nature.
I have just added some 50% price tickets for anyone who feels that the full price is a bit
out of their reach at the moment.
ACTS OF LOVE FOR TOUGH TIMES online
In the March Acts of Love for Tough Times we
looked at how letting go might be considered an act of love
that's essential for these times we're in. The next session
is Thursday 28 May. And the one
following that will be Thursday 16 July (bit
of a long gap as I'm away a lot in June).
(Pic: Becca Stadtlander)
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Yes
It could happen
anytime, tornado,
earthquake,
Armageddon. It could happen.
Or sunshine,
love, salvation.
It could, you
know. That's why we wake
and look out -
no guarantees
in this life.
But some
bonuses, like morning,
like right now,
like noon,
like evening.
William Stafford
(pic: Susan
Entwhistle)
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Back
into a good reading run. The Names from Florence
Knapp was ok but I found the domestic abuse storyline hard
going. Loved The Homemade God though,
from Rachel Joyce. And I couldn't put down Benjamin Wood's Seascraper. What
to start next? The new Kae Tempest that's just arrived - or
Helm from Sarah Hall??
The Soul's Code is a Book
Group read (we read it in fortnightly chunks so it's ongoing) and
I haven't read something that infuriates me as much in ages. I'll
keep going though because my annoyance with it is part of what's
making it interesting. And this gorgeous book of poetry, Ten Poems for Difficult Times
edited by Roger Housden, gifted to me by a Love Lab participant,
was great way to reconnect with familiar friends and be
introduced to some new ones.
If anyone can tell me it's worth persevering with The Expanded Earth, from
Mikey, please, please drop me a note. I couldn't get on
with it, but I'm open to being persuaded. There's still time to
take it off the charity shop pile.
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I'm
still enjoying the not-so-intense pace of work and hoping I can
keep things that way over the summer. And let's be honest -
beyond. Some interesting things in April, including:
- Designing a
couple of modules on an OD capability building programme
means thinking about how to introduce participants to
different ways of seeing a whole system. And in
particular helping them to find the value of seeing things
as messy and complex when everything in their roles to date
(and indeed, the general lens of the organisation) is to
simplify in order to problem solve.
- Several sessions
with a client for organisational supervision which makes me
so grateful for my training and experience in being able to
understand and work with complex individuals and group
dynamics.
- Planning for the
Closing Module of a wonderful women's leadership programme -
the third cohort we've run, and there's a 4th one in the
pipeline, we hope.
- Designing a day
to support an organisation with processing what's ending
(and ended) in their organisation to help them move into the
future they want to enable and create.
(pic:
Ashley Percival)
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If you
enjoy this Newsletter, please do consider spreading the word and
sharing it with others who might appreciate it.
Helena x
helena@helenaclayton.co.uk
07771 358
881
And do
let me have any feedback or reactions - I love hearing
from you. You know where I am on LinkedIn, or connect via Email. Or call me of
course.
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