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Leadership Developer • Coach & Facilitator • Writer

Welcome to the June 2025 Newsletter

And just like that we're in June.  Although the contrast of sun and that chilly north wind makes it feel less like summer than it is.

And another month of bigger contrasts where moments of joy and delight in, and deep gratitude for my (wonderful) life is balanced by the fact that children are dying in Gaza when they shouldn't be, that the far right is rising, and we look like we'll soon be breaching the Paris Agreement on global warming.  And more. As someone once wrote: terrible things happen in beautiful weather.  Balancing a focus on me and my little life with the bigger life that I am also part of is a tricky one to get right, for me at least.  Maybe it is for you too?

And one big moment of joy: I had a second week away this month, back to Gower, this time with Dom's grandkids and this time with plenty of rain and winds and full waterproofs in between bright and blowy bursts. There’s no wifi there and not enough phone signal to make calls – so everything about it makes for a proper reset. 

And here for you, as well as some great reads and a poem from the wonderful Seamus Heaney is:

- a new podcast exploring forgiveness, a must-listen IMHO
- a new piece of writing about some things I do at the start of most online learning sessions these days 
- an interesting set of findings about how we're using AI
- and a resource to coaches who want to work with the outdoors more

So until July, and in the meantime, I'll use the words of Sharon Salzberg and say: may the things of your day-to-day life not be a struggle, and may you treat yourself with kindness in good times and hard times.


With love
Helena x

(pic: Shiryn Wynter)

Sometimes, on a leadership programme a colleague and I might introduce poetry,  we might also invite (aka ask) participants to write a poem overnight about them and leadership. Yes, it’s a big thing, for most people.

When we did that last year, we gathered again the next day to share the poems in small groups.  When we then met as a whole group to talk about how they found the experience, someone rather pink-faced raised their hand and admitted they'd asked Chat GPT to write theirs.  We laughed.  And something made me ask: who else did that?  About a third of the group raised their hands.  We laughed some more.  And we also had an unexpected conversation about how we used AI.

And now there’s an interesting HBR article with some data about how we really use it – updated from their 2024 findings..

I don’t see ‘writing a poem for a leadership programme ‘ in there.  But it is interesting that:

• Using AI for therapy/companionship has gone from #2 to #1
• Generating ideas has dropped from #1 to #6
• Finding purpose is a new entry, straight in at #3

(pic: Choy Moo Kheong)

I would love to coach outdoors more. I've done it a few times and it's been pretty special.  For anyone here who already does, or would like some encouragement to do it more... sharing here that The Association for Coaching has a 2 day online Coaching Outdoors conference in October.  And there's a Coaching Outdoors podcast I've recently come across on the same theme.

I'll be joining in and maybe see some of you at the conference?
 

(pic: Gordon Mortensen)

Increasingly these days I start online learning sessions by saying a few specific things.  It takes a bit of time. It usually creates a stir and some discomfort. But it feels increasingly important to remind ourselves how to reclaim our attention for what's in front of us - and to give ourselves a fighting chance to be present for ourselves and the others with us.

I did this recently with a senior leadership team.  And there was quite a discussion around the question that this raised for one member of the team: but surely you can't expect us to be fully present these days?

I've written about these starting rituals here. 


(pic: Sarah Bowman)

Stephen Tolfree and I met through a mutual connection - although we can't work out who that person was - and I'm so glad we did. 

A coach to all sorts of people and issues, one thing that Stephen specialises in is supporting people through bullying - and other experiences where there has been injustice, hurt and harm.  He helps them restore themselves - reclaim their confidence, restore their trust in others and recover a sense of hope.  The key thing he works with is the idea and practices of forgiveness.

We often think of forgiveness as a form of reconciliation, and something that's for the other person, or involving both parties.  Actually, what if we imagine as it being only for us, something that is only in our own self interest, and something that we can do without any involvement at all from the other person...?

In this podcast, you'll hear how he came to that particular focus and how he works with forgiveness.  You'll hear more about the impact of letting go of resentments and anger. Stephen's work is not just the change work that's core to coaching, but also vital work of healing. 

I can't recommend strongly enough that you take a listen to this one. 

And Stephen's website is here for more info. 


(pic: Audrey Helen Weber)

THE LOVE LAB

Delighted that The Love Lab 2025 is generating such interest this year and that such a wonderful group of people are gathering. 

It's on Friday 28 Nov, in central London, and full details plus the link to book are HERE. This is the fourth or even fifth time of running this event - and it remains one of the highlights of my year.  

It's seems to be more and more important - finding ways to connect as deeply human human beings, experimenting with ways to expand towards each other, to risk connection and find the rewards. 

 

ACTS OF LOVE FOR TOUGH TIMES
June 25 0800-1000 BST

This month, drawing on the work of Barbara Fredrickson and her wonderful book Love 2.0, where she sees love not as something long term and abiding, but something momentary and chemical that arises between two people and just as easily falls away.  Love-as-connection is our theme. 

 The link to book is HERE. 

(pic: Marina Strocchi)

You know about my interest in endings, both in organisational life and way beyond. I was lucky enough to get a set of these excellent Tending to Endings cards from Will Brown some time ago and have been working with them for a little while now.

They've put down roots in my mind and my practice, and have been popping up with useful perspectives even when something I’ve been thinking about hasn’t seemed to directly be about endings.

Anyway, this is me encouraging you to take a look because Will has put them on general sale now - but only until 11 June. 
 

Had I Not Been Awake

Had I not been awake I would have missed it,
A wind that rose and whirled until the roof
Petered with quick leaves off the sycamore

And got me up, the whole of me a-patter, 
Alive and ticking like an electric fence:
Had I not been awake I would have missed it,

It came and went so unexpectedly
And almost it seemed dangerously,
Returning like an animal to the house,

A courier blast that there and then
Lapsed ordinary.  But not ever
After.  And not now. 



Seamus Heaney

(pic: Shiryn Wynter) 

I've come to love Irish writers, and here's another superb one for you/me.  Ronan Hession has such an original and distinctive style.  Leonard and Hungry Paul was the one I read first and that was a delight, but Ghost Mountain has to be up there with one of the best books I've read in a while. 

Also a great read was The Trees from Percival Everatt.  Described as comic horror it is, yes, deeply funny and deeply horrific. 

Picked up Night Swimmers as a holiday read - it was ok, but super-welcome on those rainy days on holiday. 

And non fiction.. Finally (thanks Keith Coats) I made my way to The Five Invitations, and how we might reconnect with our aliveness as we contemplate our experience of dying and death. A lovely read with a lot for me, that got me into some important bits of thinking and feelings. 

Working my way through Anam Cara for Book Group but I can't really read John O'Donohue, it seems - so am listening to it instead and it makes all the difference.  Still not loving it, but at least it's accessible to me now.  Also dipping into Leader as Healer - full of good stuff but I have to say that similar to John O'Donohue,  I absorb Nicholas Janni's teachings way better when I listen to him and you can find his podcasts etc via his website. 


(pic: the library I took with me for my week on Gower)

A workshop with a group of senior leaders exploring Radical Candour and 'how to mean what we say without being mean' - powerful foundational work for the the conversations they need to have with their teams and with each other. And with their Exec team too, as they (all) learn to form an 'extended leadership team' together. 

Otherwise, I'm savouring my coaching and coach supervision work.  And doing heaps of diary management scheduling in two online programmes with clients from September. 

A generally quite quiet time though. Many other people doing work like me are saying the same.  Organisations just not being sure of what to do in the face of all the 'incoming', not knowing what to prioritise in terms of development and so not commissioning much.

(pic: collective 'blob' pic as part of a volunteer group at a hospice, in the art room)
 

Please do forward this Newsletter on, if you know others who might appreciate it.  Otherwise, do let me have any feedback or reactions -  I love hearing from you.  You know where I am on LinkedIn, or connect via Email. Or call me of course. 

Helena x

helena@helenaclayton.co.uk
07771 358 881

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