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Leadership
Developer • Coach & Facilitator • Writer
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Welcome to the May 2024 Newsletter
Last week, I did
two days walking on the South Downs Way, from Eastbourne to
Lewes, along the Severn Sisters, and it was so good to be
out-out. So fresh and green. There was no rain (no rain!) and it
was even warm enough for me to roll up my trouser legs at one
point :-)
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This month, I had
time in London too, on a training module looking at group
coaching supervision - a deep and rich piece of learning that I'm
still reflecting on. A couple of lovely sea swims and a
pop-up sauna near where I swim, Pilates and some Rolfing
treatments all created the counterbalance I needed after all
that time on my laptop and Zoom.
So this month:
- a new blog
exploring some aspects of hope and considering whether it's
a useful thing to have - or not - for these times we're in
- a really helpful
frame to consider grief - ours and other people's
- some rules of
thumb for change agents
- new ways of
seeing and thinking of organisations - and organising
- as well as the
usual mix of fab books, poems and workshops from other
people...
Until June, please keep yourselves well and safe,
and if you can find a way to slow right down and find your
heartbeat, please do. It's good medicine.
With love
Helena x
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'Love
and grief are sisters'
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'Love and grief
are sisters', says Francis Weller. Since Emily Bazalgette and I have
had to postpone our podcast recording exploring love and grief
for a few weeks, I thought I'd fill that gap by
sharing Weller's five 'gates of grief', which I find so
helpful. They are:
The loss of someone or something we love: death,
bereavement, suicide, illness and our degenerating health,
aging...
The places that have not known love: the
parts of ourselves that we deny/disown or judge harshly
The sorrows of the world: climate crisis,
conflict, species loss, homelessness, loss of innocence in
commercialism and consumerism, loss of our connection with
nature...
What we expected and did not receive: what we assumed
or thought we would have – children, health, a bigger house,
a long marriage, community, a loving mother, a world where bees
would still exist for your grandchildren…
Ancestral grief: the grief we carry often unconsciously
from sorrow experienced by our ancestors, e.g. colonialism and
racism, being refugees or exiles...
Which ones feel
most familiar to you - and which ones least?
This summer, I
start some training in death, dying and end-of-life
care and so you're likely to find the fingerprints of that theme
in more of my work. My interest is not only in supporting
individuals but also thinking about how to support other
elements of our lives - systems, organisations - that
are ending or dying.
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Acts
of Love for Tough Times - May & June
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The
April session of Acts of Love for Tough Times was wonderful. We
looked at how grief and hope are forms of love, did some bold
writing, had some tender and stimulating conversations and read
some glorious poems. People said, it was both nourishing
and stimulating.
The May session will focus on how forgiveness
and creating
connection are essential forms of love that
can resource us all ahead of tougher times. June
will likely focus on joy
and listening.
Both are
now open for booking and both of which are free.
Please
do spread the word by sharing the details if you know anyone who
might be interested. I'd bet my hat on them being glad they
came along. I can't tell you how wonderful the people are who
show up to these gatherings.
(Pic: Ash from Modern Afflatus, Unsplash)
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Some
Thoughts on Hope - New Blog
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Hope is
about to come more centre stage, I think. I reckon we're
going to see it being talked about a lot now. There will be more
books exploring hope. We'll start to create a new
relationship with it.
Of course we will. We'll need to. Because in many ways, things
might be looking and feeling less hopeful.
I like exploring hope, 'the thing with feathers'. It's
often one of the 'acts of love' I explore in my workshops.
I think it's up there with love in its complexity and
depth. So here are a few things about hope
- some themes that I see in common across lots of people's
writing at the moment. I'll add to this over time, I'm
sure.
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'As long as
you are breathing, it's never too late to do some good'
Maya
Angelou
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Rules
of Thumb for Change
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I was at
Steve Hearsum's book launch
the other week, for his book No Silver Bullets. No,
not read it yet. To be honest, part of the reason is that
when I peek inside, I find much to challenge me and my practice
and I know that it's going to hold up a mirror to how I work in
ways that I'll learn from, but almost certainly will not like.
The ways that I collude with the system or with clients, for
example. Ouch. I think it's going to be an impactful
read.
Now, that was a long intro to me saying that Naomi Stanford was also in
the group and she referred to these Rules of Thumb for Change Agents,
which I hadn't come across and I like very much. They
include Stay Alive, Don't Build Hills As You Go, and Light Many
Fires. A lovely read.
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'Our hearts,
once open, can stretch a very long way indeed'.
Nick
Totton
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Many of
us here have worked with the metaphors of organisation-as-machine
and organisation-as-organism in our change or OD practice.
For those of us drawn to exploring the
organisation-as-living-system end of things, and who like to take
an (eco)systemic perspective, do take a look at the work of Anna-Marie Swan and her work
on Ecological Organisations.
I think you might like it.
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'There is a
bird and a stone in your body. Your job is to not kill the bird
with the stone'.
Victoria
Chang
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Exploring
Endings Workshop
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Grainne
McAnallen and Andrea Langlois are running two more of their
online events Harnessing the Power of Endings using
approaches drawn from yoga nidra and systemic constellations.
They take place on 23rd May and also 25th September.
I have a couple of endings myself that I haven't had time to give
much thought to yet, and so I'm very much hoping to be at the one
in May.
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'The longer I
live, the more deeply I learn that love is the work of
mirroring and magnifying each others' light'
James
Baldwin
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Instructions On Not Giving Up
More
than the fuchsia funnels breaking out
of the
crabapple tree, more than the neighbor's
almost obscene
display of cherry limbs shoving
their cotton
candy-colored blossoms to the slate
sky of spring
rains, it's the greening of the trees
that really
gets to me. When all the shock of the white
and taffy, the
world's baubles and trinkets, leave
the pavement
strewn with the confetti of aftermath,
the leaves
come. Patient, plodding, a green skin
growing over
whatever winter did to us, a return
to the strange
idea of continuous living despite
the mess of us,
the hurt, the empty. Fine, then,
I'll take it,
the tree seems to say, a new slick leaf
unfurling like
a fist, I'll take it all.
Ada
Limon
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So Romantic Comedy was a good
bedtime read, but I've been a little low on fiction, I can
see.
Nonfiction,
I finished Citizens and made a good
start on Holding the Hope, a series
of essays about the psychology of facing the climate
crisis. Additionally, Intervals from Marianne
Brooker about her mother's voluntary death by 'stopping eating
and drinking' (VSED). Likewise, Anne Lamott's latest, Somehow, about love, was
gorgeous.
Finally, the wonderful and just-launched poetry magazine, Clarion. It's a huge
feat to bring a project like this to life and Tom Hirons has
brought something wonderful into being. If you love 'poetry
for a world on fire' then do consider a subscription. Tom
uses a sliding scale when charging for his work (which I love)
and so if you have plenty of money, it's £100 a year, and if
you're struggling you can pay just £35 for an annual
subscription.
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Action
learning sets, project management and set up for three new
leadership programmes - one new and two with an existing client -
and plenty of coaching and coach supervision.
Lots of conversations about interesting projects - coaching and
team development with a well known arts organisation and team
development at a housing association. I think most of these
will not come off, for one reason or another. And this does
feel like a bit of theme... things looking as if they might
happen and then not. I hear this from many people in this line of
work at the moment. Something in the air.
And a three-day module for me as a participant exploring group
coaching supervision, which is encouraging me to think about
setting up a group in 2025.
(Owl drawing is by my talented friend Pat Foreman)
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Do get in touch and let me know how you're finding
these Newsletters, or if you'd like to see more info
on anything I could include. I love hearing
from you. You know where I am on LinkedIn, or connect via Email. Or call me of course,
whichever suits.
Helena x
helena@helenaclayton.co.uk
07771 358
881
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