Even though the still-hammering rain
and winds keep me in my winter coat, my first tulips
showed themselves to be trusting of the Spring. And it's
true. It won't be denied. This last weekend has given
us some hope for a bit of dry weather ...
I've kept this Newsletter a little shorter
than last month. It was very long. I had 6 Unsubscribes,
which has never happened before, so I think I might have bored
the pants off some people. If you do go (and I'm sure you
will at some point) if you could spare a minute to tell me why, I
would really appreciate it.
But as you're here now, you might as well keep
reading, don't you think ...:-)
If you do, you'll find:
a new solo
episode of my podcast - an experiment that I quite
enjoyed. Let me know what you make of it.
something about
transitions and how we let go of (or move
on from) versions of ourselves that we are
outgrowing.
two things about
change: how wolves help us understand it, plus a model
for looking at change in terms of what needs hospicing and
what needs a midwife.
a reminder of the
impact of Boarding School and the 'psychological trauma of
the 'privileged' child'.
and as ever,
a poem, some great reads and a quick update on current
work.
I'll be with you in May and hopefully casting some
clouts by then. In the meantime, keep your eyes on all the beauty
in the world.
With love Helena x
Who
Am I Becoming?
For many
of my coaching clients, the question of 'who do I want to be?'
also has an element of 'and who am I becoming?'. I like this, not
least because it invites us to notice and be curious about what's
happening in us and for us regardless of conscious effort to
bring anything particular about.
It reminds me too about the focus in systemic constellations work
on the emerging
future with the implication that the system itself
has an organic and natural movement towards what it needs.
For those sorts of conversations, I often find Harthill's Leadership Development Framework
helpful, with its focus on our development
momentum, the transition
we might be in, how our context
is shaping the
current version of us, and what might be ready to emerge.
And then I read this article in the Guardian
about people whose identity had been pretty fiercely formed
around something - and then who had changed, and
changed their relationship to it. And while the focus
of this article is on influencers of some sort, I'm also thinking
about ways that we each might become very attached to who we are
and how it then feels when it seems that we no longer are that
person. The article is called the 'influencers who
pivoted', and I wonder about those first moments when they
realised they were changing and that they'd need to go public on
that change.
I think I might be feeling the first stirrings of a change
in identity myself. What
wants to emerge and who am I becoming feel good
questions for me to sit with this year.
Acts
of Love for Tough Times
As you
know, I'm now running Acts of Love for Tough Times as a
monthly session. Dates below. And (always)
free.
You still have time to book onto the April session, which will
focus on the connections between love, grief and joy.
And the May session is also now open for booking - exploring how
boundaries and generosity are forms of love.
Please
do spread the word by sharing the details - I'd love to see this
community grow and I know how much people say they appreciate the
space and the conversations.
Love:
a new podcast episode
It was
an experiment. And overall, it went well.
On my podcast, I talk to some
wonderful people about love and its role in leadership. This
month, I had a go at my first solo episode. Just me.
I'd drafted some notes and reckoned it might be 25 mins. It
ended up being closer to 40 mins.
At the end, I said to my wonderful podcast producer: ‘how was
that, Sam. OK…?’
And he said ‘yes, great’. Then paused and said: ‘er ... and
would you mind if I edited a little bit…?’ 😊
So if you fancy (now less than) 40 mins about how I ended up
exploring love in the first place; how it feels very different
now to be talking about than it was back in 2017; what my
original 2019 research told us about what love looks like in an
organisational setting; and then what I am seeing now as forms of
love that we need to cultivate for these tricky times we find
ourselves in ... you can listen to it here.
I'll be doing a follow up solo episode soon on the difference
more love makes, as well as the blocks to love and why exploring
how we might have more love is (understandably) problematic.
Wolves
and change
Running
a senior leadership programme recently and exploring 'system
leadership' and the challenges of trying to change or create
movement in a complex system that has many entangled and moving
parts ... we introduced the group to things like adaptive action,
and the principles of emergent change.
Plus we used this short video clip about
what happened when wolves were reintroduced to Yellowstone
National Park as a jumping off point for some discussion about
experiments and 'next adjacent steps' and the importance of
seeing actions as being as much about research and learning as about
progress and change.
'When
disasters hit, it invites out the best parts of us'
Rebecca Solnit
My
husband was sent to Boarding School at 8 years old. Until
about 15 years ago, he thought he'd been lucky and privileged in
that regard. He's since connected with a very different
story which feels much more true: that the experience did grave
and long lasting damage to him.
I often talk about this when I talk about love. That we
assume that we can all be more loving - or we can all let love in
- if we just try harder. But there are some
experiences that are so traumatic to us that they get in the way
of us doing that.
Also, follow Sara Warner, Karen MacMillan and Amelia White on LinkedIn,
they also explore how this is similar-and-different for girls who
were boarders.
You
might wonder if this is relevant to you if, for example, you're
not married to an early boarder, as I am. But once you
learn how many senior leaders in our organisations and in
political positions went to boarding school, it might make you
want to take a look.
'There are
only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a
miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.'
Albert
Einstein
The
Two Loop model
Part of
my work in leadership and organisational development is working
with systems in change. Either supporting people who are
trying to lead and make sense of what's happening in the middle
of that change. Maybe supporting leaders in trying to nudge
a system in a particular direction. Or leaders who are
trying to find their right place in the system, in order to best
be useful.
Some of you will also have spotted that I have a growing interest
in death and dying, in endings, grief and letting go, at an
individual, organisational and systemic perspective. So
when I was introduced to Emily Bazalgette (thank you
David...) and she introduced me to the Two Loop model from the Berkana Institute, I
recognised something that felt deeply familiar and also useful.
It sits well with Theory U and the stuff about emergent change,
but I like that it specifically makes room for exploring what's
dying, and what needs to be hospiced.
Two
other things: 1. The Berkana
Institiute is also the home to Meg Wheatley's Warriors of the Human Spirit training. 2. The next
podcast I'm recording will be with Emily exploring the connection
between love and grief.
'Social
movement require social movers'
Barrett
Emerick
Poem
To come home to yourself
May all that is unforgiven in you Be released.
May
your fears yield Their deepest
tranquilities.
May all that is
unlived in you Blossom in a
future Graced with
love.
John O'Donohue
Good
reads
Just
couldn't get on with The Whalebone Theatre, so
abandoned it and dropped it into the charity shop. But
really loved On The Beach by Nevil Shute
after hearing about it on A Good Read while driving to
Stratford upon Avon. Then Yellowface, also good, about
literary fraud, recommended by a friend who only reads crime
fiction. And finally Tara Westover's Educated that I just
couldn't put down.
I'm fundamentally lazy. If my Book Group wasn't three doors
down from where I live, I really would have stopped going years
ago. But I've been going round to my neighbours house
(usually in my slippers) for 10 years now (and it was going 10 years
before I joined) and still love it. We take it in turns to
choose a book, and we bring food featured in the book. So I just
finished Gina's choice, A Spell of Good Things, from
Ayobame Adebayo. Excellent, although the title could have
easily been A Spell of Really Bad Things.
And for another book group (an online one - the one I read The
Myth of Normal with) it's Citizens by Jon
Alexander. Half way through and whilst I like the idea of
the book, I'm not sure about it as a book yet. I'll let you
know.
And
at work
I'm
having to find adjectives other than 'busy' when asked how I am
because my work is still quieter than it's ever been.
That's no bad thing, definitely. I haven't been happy with my
working patterns for a time but lacked the courage (or something)
to change them. It seems I'm now getting a taste of a more
balanced working life - and I rather like it.
March had modules in Oxford and London for two leadership
programmes I'm involved in with Senior Civil Servants. One
is for senior women leaders and we had two very senior women
in public life come and join us for the day. This was especially
wonderful as we had said to the women: 'who do you want to hear
from, how will you reach them, and how will you get them to
come'. They did it all. Strategic networking in action.
Another module with a global charity on a bespoke Leading from Love programme,
working with a group across Ghana, Nigeria, Malawi as well as the
UK, which ensures we work with perspectives and sources from
Africa.
Plus plenty of coaching and coaching supervision. Have I already
said how much I'm enjoying the supervision work? I have two spaces available
if you're a corporate coach and looking for a supervisor.
Do get in touch if you'd like an exploratory conversation.
Do get in touch and let me know how you're finding
these Newsletters, or if you'd like to see more info
on anything I could include. I love hearing
from you. You know where I am on LinkedIn, or connect via Email. Or call me of course,
whichever suits.
